Archive for November, 2010

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

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Been away for a while… I had so much to do that I lost focus. Speaking of focus. Focus on loving those who love you, those who support you and those who hate you. Without them, you wouldn’t be who you are today. Focus on sacrifice. Remember, all the things that you want out of life, all the things that will help you advance in life won’t come without sacrifice. Doesn’t matter if you sacrifice time, money or even your old lifestyle. That sacrifice is essential to a great start. That sacrifice will help you remove any obstacle that prevents focus. Live life, love and cherish these moments with your friends and family. Everyday…every breath isn’t promise… alright, I’m done… Give thanks and be blessed!… Another post is coming soon

“No, you can’t swirl. Only WE can”

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Every time you turn around there is some new dating site for black people. You have everything from “Blackpeoplemeet.com” to “Facebook.com”. Facebook? …Yes Facebook! To the bachelor/bachelorette, it is a land of opportunity where you can “poke” and message people to death. Let’s not act like all those photo albums you uploaded that had nothing but pictures of yourself in different “sexy” poses were intended for your friend circle. Do you always send pictures of yourself “blowing a kiss” to your homegirls?  NO!…You weren’t flattered when all those random guys made comments on these pictures? Comments like, “oooo, sexy!”, “you’re so pretty”, etc… Um, yea right! Let’s be real…

          Back to the topic at hand. Commercials have a great way of telling you something. If there wasn’t a need for it then there wouldn’t have been an advertisement… simple.  So obviously, there a lot of lonely people out there. But, there’s nothing wrong with that…

          Through all the mixing and matching that comes along with dating, there’s a rule that the average black man has to follow… you can’t date white women! It’s something we innately know. Most times we are warned of this at an early age. “If she can’t use my comb, don’t bring her home”. As racist as this sound, I’ve heard that plenty of times.

          You know of this rule from watching TV and you hear it during open discussions. That’s one thing a community conscious black man knows, “ I can date her but I can’t bring her home.” Now, I’m not saying we’re the only race of people that do this. I’m just saying, in the black community, a black women dating outside of her race is more acceptable than the opposite.

          You even see it in television shows and movies. The leading character (white male who happens to be single) is more likely to have dated a black woman on the show with no problem.  If the show was otherwise and the leading character was black, all of the other characters on the show would acknowledge the race of the girl he is dating. Making it difficult for the main character to either get past her skin color or persuade his peers that there is nothing wrong with interracial dating for black men (he always fails) … Which tells me, even people outside of the black race acknowledge that black women dating white men is more acceptable than black men dating white women. If you notice, Zoe Saldana, Halle Berry and Sanaa Lathan weren’t considered “leading” actors until they were seen on screen opposite of a white man. They didn’t “make it” to the more main stream movies until they were willing to kiss and hold hands with another popular white actor (but that’s another topic).

          Now, I won’t omit the fact that black men date outside of their race more than Black women do (there are statistics that prove it). But, we all know that most black women don’t “swirl” because they genuinely aren’t attracted to men outside of their race. Most black women are “only” attracted to men with darker complexions.

          But, why are black men held to a different standard? When black women date outside of their race, the comments are different… “he must have money”(ignorant), “they are a good fit, they were made for each other”, “well, there aren’t too many good brothas out there so I guess she decided to find someone else”, etc… Somehow, black women dating outside of their race is more justified. When a black man does it, he’s looked at differently and is subject to judgment.

          Since slavery, the topic of interracial dating has always lie in the palm of black men.

          The one thing that some black women have in common with other races, is the fact they don’t want to see a black man and a woman from another race holding hands while walking down the street… It’s his choice, and love doesn’t come with a color code. So, basically it shouldn’t be a problem. But, it is…

 

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